Thomas Killbot

Anyone ever been payed 30 bucks an hour to play x-box and answer a few phone calls?
Probably make you pretty happy to do that sort of thing, huh?
I did that on Sunday, and look what it made me draw.



Sure. Clowns are natures way of making us happy. But this one is horribly sad.
When the only entertainment outlet you've got on your computer is MS paint you go a little batty.
Gimme Solitaire... Anything.

P.S. I'm Alive!

There are 7 reasons why I should quit my job.

They are:
1. brian wilson
2. sonic youth
3. yeah yeah yeahs
4. you am i
5. clap your hands say yeah
6. tv on the radio
7. it sucks

All these bands except number 7 are playing Splendour.

For the Record, so are the following:
8. death cab for cutie
9. grinspoon
10. dj shadow
11. the grates
12. augie march
13. the avalanches
14. youth group
15. brittle fx
16. atmostsphere
17. paul mac
18. wolfmother
19. jose gonzalez
20. scissor sisters
21. decoder ring
22. snow patrol
23. the presets
24. the zutons
25. matisyahu
26. claire bowditch

Yeah I know. Awesome.

Ok so here's the story.

A few weeks ago my computer shat itself and stopped working.
Had to get some mega 1337 jerk to come and tinker with it.
Paid some mega 1337 jerk a bunch of money to do this.
Got lost in the jungle for three days and had to eat my dog to survive.
Its ok now though.
While I'm bruised and battered.
While I'm thin and dogless.
While I'm a little out of pocket.
I'm still very much alive.

Here's a swell little tidbit:
I was informed once, many years ago that a good way to look like you're doing work in an office is to always be carrying a sheet of paper. That way you can always pretend that you're either on the way to the photocopier or coming back from the photocopier.
In my position at my current place of work I am not one to frequent the photocopier. Obviously this leaves me out to dry. So get this; I improvise.
Now what I do to get out of work is drink like 3 cups of coffee in the morning before my shift.
That way I'm visiting the toilet every 15 minutes for the rest of the day, and every 15 minutes for the rest of the day I get a little 'me' time.

You wish you'd thought of this.

I was bored. So I went and had me a near life experience.

A near working life experience that is.

So I'm sitting around at my piece of shit job when the boss comes in and starts acting all "wacky" (as it's casual friday and he's allowed to be acting "wacky" as long as he's wearing jeans) and starts bandying a monkey in peoples faces as though it's the funniest thing he's ever seen.

That's right.

A monkey not unlike this one:

MONKEY

And guess what, It wasn't that funny. BUT PEOPLE LAUGHED ANYWAY.

Working in a office sure does open your eye's to the accuracies of television.

Today was the first day of my life.

I got a job after only one dole payment. I feel a little cheated by fate.
So after a swell weekend featuring the greatest concert moment of my life (les savy fucking fav, bitches) I found out I have a full time job working in a call centre on the uni grounds.

Started today. Really tired now. Wish I was still on the dole. Don't tell the filthy stinking government I said that though. Just got the computer back after it was trashed by like a jillion virus's. And I'm off to work tomorrow at 9.

None of that matters now though cause I'm about to have pancakes.

Happy Pancake Day Everyone

Meet me where the sweat descends.

( I have never wanted something so much )

Welly welly well

It seems it is time for a boy who is of job age to find an appropriate appointing from which to horde his riches.

I totally pwn3d everyone else at centrelink today. Wanna know how?
I didn't wear a singlet top, rabbitoh's socks or ass splitting mini-shorts. And I'm not insinuating that I'm better than these bogans, but clearly I am.

Oh, and this shit totally is a competition so there's no need to be a diplomatic jerk about it.

I could feel them all looking daggers at my well groomed, sexy ass. Oh yes they stabbed me with their gaze at my clean cut good looks and tidy dress manner. I could hear them thinking such thoughts as "Don't look at my bitch you tadpole fucker", and "I know you like the look of my heavily pregnant wife but hands off! I dig the bulgy belly kinda love." So i stared at the ground and pretended the pattern carpeting was the neatest thing ever. Then I noticed that the more inebriated members of the line were doing the same. That made me feel a little more at home.

Also when the nice lady asked me the question:
Do you have any addictions that would prevent you from being able to get a job?
I answered:
Only Rock and Roll

Well, no I didn't but I did think about saying it. I just thought the nice lady wouldn't get the joke is all.

Humans live in a vast solar system where 2,000 feet seems a razor-thin distance.
Yet it's just wide enough to trigger concerns that an asteroid due to buzz Earth on April 13, 2029 may shift its orbit enough to return and strike the planet seven years later.

The concern: Within the object's range of possible fly-by distances lie a handful of gravitational "sweet spots," areas some 2,000 feet across that are also known as keyholes.

The physics may sound complex, but the potential ramifications are plain enough. If the asteroid passes through the most probable keyhole, its new orbit would send it slamming into Earth in 2036.
(www.csmonitor.com/2005/0726/p01s04-stss.html, 2005)

Yeah, this would kinda suck in some ways and kinda be swell in others.

Points of suck:

• Everybody dies.


• I will know beforehand of my impending death. So I will probably cringe like a jerk in front of a loaded gun and die looking like some sucker fool.


• I will have to watch everyone I've ever loved die and run around beforehand getting all emo and junk. I on the other hand will be all like, "Chill homies. Let's rock before we die."

Points of swell:

• Everybody dies so you don't feel left out.


• I will be 52 years old, and surely be up for death by then.


• It would be awesome to be part of the end of the human race. That's something you have to be pretty lucky to have the chance to see.


• For the last 15 minutes of existence I will feel like a badass dinosaur. I call being an Allosaurus. Badass.


• I dunno, at least we'll get the chance to say goodbye to everyone and try to score with whoever that one last time.

Anyway, I hope everyone I love right now is there with me to witness this spectacle. Should be fun. Let's get wasted.

Just when you thought time and space had settled itself and you were perfectly safe from becoming your own father, this shit happens.

and i quote:

MICHAEL J Fox is heading back to the future once more, for a fourth time-travelling movie. The actor, who has Parkinson's disease, admits he's in negotiations for a final film in the series. Contactmusic.com reports the ex-Spin City star wants to take over Christopher LLoyd's character, Doc, in the sequel. He told Moviehole.net: "The only way it would work would be if I played Doc. I'm 44-years-old now and I'm not interested in running around on skateboards!
"I think after 1, 2 and 3 we all kind of felt we had done it. And I think if they did it again now they would do it with a younger cast and just do a different realisation of it, which would be fun."

Let me be the first to say that if this does happen i will fart in my hand and cup it over Mchael J. Fox's mouth. What's he gonna do, Shake at me?

If all human life were crushed into a single quivering gelatinous blob of raspberry jelly:

• There would be no war as all missile buttons would remain unpressed.


• There would be no hate as jelly lacks brains to think such ridiculous thoughts.

and

• There would certainly be no famine as the human race slowly eats its delicious self out of existence.

World peace through the eye's of a drunk.

I wrote this on a coaster at a 21st. I must say I oft impress even myself with my semi-drunk poetic eloquence.